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Flaunting gives us a sense of power — and power is always sexy. Tracey says that wanting to watch others have sex suggests sexual confidence.

Exposing our naked body to cheers and applause in our fantasies also helps calm our fear of our body not being good enough in real life. Threesomes, swinging, group sex. When women fantasise about group sex they tend to be the undisputed star of the session - and are nearly always on the receiving end. For men, it's more about being able to satisfy more than one woman. These fantasies are a heady blend of exhibitionism, voyeurism, bi-curiosity if there's the same sex involved and a human longing for excess if one person feels good, more must feel better.

Watching others have sex. Countless surveys have shown women are as turned on by erotic images as men are so it makes sense that we're also just as voyeuristic. Watching people have sex in real life is even more fascinating than porn because it makes for more realistic comparisons. We all love to think we're great in bed and watching other people means we can see how we rate on the 'best lover' chart.

It also hints at sexual confidence: you could teach people a thing or two! Women with women. It's as common for women to have sexual fantasies about other women as it is rare for men to have fantasies about other men,' says Nancy Friday, author of The Secret Garden, the infamous book about female fantasies. Women are far less haunted by the social taboo of being gay, probably because society is far less homophobic about gay women than it is gay men.

Most women who fantasise about other women, aren't gay or bi-sexual: simply thinking about something does not mean you're gay. Be careful about sharing this one though: watching you with another woman happens to be one of the top male fantasies. Especially if he's been racking his brains about what special surprise he can organize for that upcoming birthday…. Visit traceycox. The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.

What does YOUR sex fantasy say about you? Women who fantasise about older men or date them in real life, can sometimes be working through issues with their own father.

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I moved a block away. My ex-wife and I differed on many things, but we definitely shared the view that we loved the kids more than we hated each other. We never said bad things about each other around them. Did you remain single? So, I was having a lot of trouble because at this point in my life I was really stretching the bounds of my attractive range.

Because you were attracted to younger women?

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We all know that our culture prizes female youth. I think at first that helped mask the pedophilia — I figured I was just more of a slave to patriarchal thinking than most men: We go after young women, and society accepts that. I was dutifully dating women who were roughly my age and hoping for a spark but that spark never came.

Now I see what was going on for me was much bigger.


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So the woman I was in a relationship with was about 40 — and one of a very few women that age I could get excited about. How come? She was very smart. Ivy League educated, a great researcher. And she was drop-dead gorgeous with a very strong sex drive. But also, her personality was quite … childlike.


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When I look back, sophistication in women was always a turnoff. Was she physically childlike, or was it more her personality? She was small, and she had a high-pitched voice. I once gave her some money for her birthday.

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I deliberately made sure there were not just 20s but fives and ones, and quarters, and I put it in a little ornate box. She loved it. But there were enormous problems in that relationship. One side of her was very loving, and the other was suspicious and trying to sabotage the relationship. We went on problematically for ten years before we broke up.

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Was that when you realized that you are a pedophile? What did you realize? My career was on a glide path. The nest was empty. I was alone. What did you search for? Were there particular desires or fantasies that you wanted to explore? I steered away from women being degraded. They were scantily clad or naked and smiling. I watched some clips of vanilla hetero intercourse where both participants seemed willing.

I downloaded about pictures. I found that this was a mild enhancement to my middle-aged life … looking at these images and masturbating. Then one day my childlike girlfriend made a sympathetic comment about people who enjoyed porn. I dared to mention that I had looked at a little. Had you looked at child porn at that point? I am against child sex abuse. Okay, so what happened when you told your girlfriend? She was not okay with my online porn explorations. We had several arguments and then she gave me a choice: her or the porn. I resentfully agreed to give it up.